Ten Things NOT To Do When Having Wine With Guests
10. Try pulling the cork out of the bottle with a screw driver (unless completely desperate)
10a. Try pulling the cork out with the knife you used to cut the cheese
10b. “Cut the cheese”
9. Serve Port as an aperitif (before dinner)
8. Serve peanut butter and crackers with the Chardonnay
8a. Get served
7. After drinking a bottle of Zinfandel, bust open a bottle of Pinot Gris and say “here, try this stuff”
6. Sprinkle Gewurztraminer on one of your guests and say “this smells better than the stuff you’re wearing”
5. Sprinkle ginger into the glasses of weak Syrah
4. Conduct a blind tasting and put Coca Cola in one of the glasses
3. Stick a funnel in someone’s mouth and pour a bottle of Merlot into it
2. Break out the “Two Buck Chuck” and say “okay, it’s time to play quarters”
1. Watch an hour of ESPN Sports Center and make everyone down a glass of Cab every time an announcer mentions Brett Favre
